Snow Flower and the Secret Fan by Lisa See

Historical fiction, especially novels that take place in China and focus on the ancient lives of women, is my favorite type of reading. I cannot possibly express the brilliance of "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan" by Lisa See without re-writing the novel in this post. But I will definitely try. Consider this a spoiler warning, but I will not reveal anything significant because I highly, highly recommend this book. (Anyone who absolutely cannot stand spoilers may want to stop reading after this sentence)

The entire novel is essentially a recap of someone's life. Lily, now eighty, begins her story with memories of when she was five, a primitive and happier time in her life. Her retelling incorporates strong themes of friendship, of female oppression and of love. Before this book, I had not considered other forms of love besides romantic love and love for your family. That Chinese tradition had the laotong form of love (which was meant only for the women of society) suggests that they recognized the necessity of comfort between women. See paints a portrait of China during a time when women not only had what are now wholly unrealistic expectations, but also demonstrates how it was a willing oppression. By this, I mean to highlight just how much women oppressed themselves by passing on these expectations from one generation to another. Among a million and one traditions, foot binding is undoubtedly one of the most gruesome traditions that women had to endure. But through that endurance, it proved the ability to withstand pain, maintain obedience and withhold tradition, which were conditions that promised a prosperous marriage and acceptance in society.

"We may love our daughters with all our hearts, but we must train them through pain. We love our sons most of all, but we can never be a part of their world, the outer realm of men. We are expected to love our husbands from the day of Contracting a Kin, though we will not see their faces for another six years. We are told to love our in-laws, but we enter those families as strangers, as the lowest person in the household, just one step on the ladder above a servant. We are ordered to love and honor our husbands' ancestors, so we perform the proper duties, even if our hearts quietly call out gratitude to our natal ancestors. We love our parents because they take care of us, but we are considered worthless branches on the family tree. We drain the family resources. We are raised by one family for another. As happy as we are in our natal families, we all know that parting is inevitable. So we love our families, but we understand that this love will end in the sadness of departure. All these types of love come out of duty, respect and gratitude. Most of them, as the women in my county know, are sources of sadness, rupture, and brutality."

-- Snow Flower and the Secret Fan

What kept me reading late into the night, was a comparison I kept making between the mindset of women in China during the 1800s and myself, a woman in Canada in the 2000s. China has a rich and lengthy history and being half Chinese myself helped me make an almost personal connection with this novel. I feel this comparison shows how far, we as women have come in the last two millenniums. I could not fathom living under the expectations of my ancestors, and I wonder at the endurance of women in the past. The freedom to make decisions about marriage, my education, my career path, and even the mere freedom to do as I please with my physical body (i.e. no foot binding) are all things women did not always have. I am reminded that such freedoms are still not available to much of the female population. With all of that said, I still have yet to touch on the personal stories and plots in the book: this book has definitely become my favorite.